I received so many lovely messages and comments from both people close to me and those whom I've never met. It would be impossible to feel unloved and unsupported after an outpouring like I received. Amazing! And I am truly thankful!
Quick Recap:
WHY is my morning sickness back!? WTF!!! Seriously its like Week 7 all over again! Down 3lbs from pre-pregnancy weight, again WTF. Baby Bump be poppin. Very dizzy. Foods taste funny, not in a good way.
Sarcasm Sucks!
There is one joke that is getting old, FAST. "Hey congratulations! You should name your kid after me!" Many things have exited the building during my pregnancy, like for example, my ability to jog up the stairs without being short of breath or how about blow drying my hair and my arms going numb in mere minutes. Along with that, my usual appreciation for sarcasm has also left, I'm one big party pooper when it comes to "jokes" regarding my pregnancy. This is the biggest and most serious life change for me, EVER, you joking about it means you are trivializing it. Visualize Joker saying "why so serious", because I'm f*$&ing pregnant that's why!
When thinking about why the name joke in particular bugs me and possibly other prego peeps, this is what I came up with. We spend hours obsessing over names, sifting through baby names online, in books or in apps. We find one we love, our partner hates it. Like most people we purposely avoid using names of those we know or have had bad experiences with. Case and point: I will never name my child Brendan because of a kid in elementary school who used to steal the swings. However, Brandon could totally be a contender all because of a couple different vowels!
I will not share our favourite names with you but I can assure you it will not be your name. (my internal dialogue as I finish writing that mini rant is that Mothers will understand non-Moms will not, a statement I always resented before getting pregnant.)
From what I can remember (baby brain) 5 people have said this to me so far.
The imminent bump!
After weeks of waiting for the inevitable baby bump to show I now find myself in denial that it is really here. This couldn't possibly be a baby bump, I'm just bloated, for the 13th week in a row! I mean c'mon, lil Peanut is only 3 inches long, how could such a tiny baby make my pants tight. Stage 1 of denial consists of laying on my back in bed and running my hands over my abdomen deciding if I've popped out more or not. Stage 2 of denial, staring at my belly profile in the mirror (pre- morning pee) and convincing myself its just my full bladder that pushes my stomach out. Stage 3 of denial, re-evaluating my side profile post morning pee. Stage 4 of denial, flexing my abs to show the "true baby bump" and not just me pushing out my bump.
I suppose the real sign that my belly is growing, and not from too many sour keys (oooh totally just remembered I bought more! Snack time!), is that although I can button up my jeans and wear them normally, the second I eat anything that button HAS to be undone. I pull a full on Al Bundy and pop open my pants and slip my hand in the waist band to rub my tummy. Some of my sexiest moments!
Part of me is sad to admit I'm actually having a hard time embracing my belly. I've always been thin, and my stomach was always my favourite part of my body. Now I'm really struggling to accept that it is constantly pushed out and I'm trying very hard to love and accept it. By far the biggest body change of my life and it's just going to take some time to adjust. Anyone else have these kind of issues? How did you manage to feel sexy again?
Whomp Whomp Whomp Whomp
THAT is the best description in word form I can think of to describe Peanut's heartbeat. I had another doctors appointment and was able to hear the lil heart beat for a much longer time than at my dating ultrasound. His estimate was about 150bpm. It was strong and steady and couldn't have made me any happier. Miscarriage has been a very big problem for the women on my Mom's side of the family so getting past the 1st trimester and hearing such a great heart beat was exactly what I needed to know everything was going exactly as hoped.
New this week:
I won't be able to feel kicks for a few weeks still but on occasion I totally know where Peanut is just by feel! When I press on my uterus I can feel the spaces where it is empty and easy to press in, and then there will be one spot where it feels "full" and that there is something in the way. A lil human, that's what's in the way!!! ;)
UPDATE: Can't really tell where Peanut is anymore, all of a sudden everything has firmed up and I can't really feel anything but firm muscle.
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